Help Yourself

Leading by doing — we could write the book. We see the big picture, organize the details, meet the deadlines, and never let them see us sweat.

Yep, we’re on top of it all the time…except when a task veers beyond our arsenal of expertise. But that rarely happens. And since we’re so good at figuring things out, we soldier on, on our own. Until we can’t.

Sometimes the task is too foreign, the time too short, the energy too finite to pull it off. And then we’re stuck acting like a Lone Leader, trying to operate without the necessary support.

There are at least three reasons a Lone Leader prefers to operate solo, even when overwhelmed. Knowing which one you’re prone to is the first step toward being able to issue an SOS.

1. When you act like an Opaque Leader
You’ve got it covered — literally. Your veneer of competence is more than skin deep, and everyone knows it. But those tiny fissures of inexperience worry you. What if someone notices that you’re not 100% all that? Would you still be respected? Would you lose your position? Rather than chance it, you draw the shades around your weak spot and carry on like the impenetrable expert you believe you should be.
You need to see how asking for help is a sign of confidence. Never saying you’re sorry. Never admitting you’re wrong. All that tough-guy stuff is hooey. The courage to request assistance lets people see your human side, the one that says, “I know what I don’t know, and I know you can help me change that.”

2. When you act like an Uneasy Leader
You’re happiest when things are on a steady simmer and within reach. That way you can adjust as needed to ensure a good result. It’s when you can’t fully control the situation that misgivings arise. Will someone else make the same decision you would? Will quality suffer? Better to triple your own efforts, you reason, than risk compromise at the hand of another.
You need to think about accepting help as a way to make things better. The beauty of collaboration (a.k.a. help) is you get a whole new set of ideas to play with in addition to your own. That’s not compromise, that’s creativity in one of its best forms. Hey, did ever see what happened when a fine artist let her four-year-old finish some of her sketches?

3. When you act like a Hesitant Leader
No one would accuse you of being high maintenance. You keep the wheels turning almost single-handedly without much need for applause. Thing is, when you could use some assistance you’re reluctant to sound the alarm. Will they think you’re a pest? Will they have bigger fish to fry? Will no one answer at all? The imagined consequence of rejection is enough to keep you from raising your hand.
You need to believe that others want to help. Ask someone to help you and they are instantly flattered. Beyond the initial ego-boost, your potential helper experiences a sense of validity and purpose. It’s almost like you’re doing them a favor.

INCLUDES:
PDF worksheet (1 page)